Ya gotta live somewhere, but also you GET to live somewhere.

I think people who are religious are more likely to want one around, but it's a very secular position.

When you’re as charming and physically attractive as myself, it’s easy enough to win over people you meet. But getting strangers to love you...now, that’s the trick.

Right, except I'm not going to lie to my mom, because what kind of (man) lies to his own mother?

She was up and down—from fire and brimstone to smoke and ashes.

Tiny, the next time that you try to set me up with a girl with a secret boyfriend can you at least INFORM me that she has a secret boyfriend? Also, if you don't call me back within five minutes, I'm going to assume you found a way back to Evanston. Furthermore, you are an asshat. That is all.

History doesn't have a curfew.