That's why people grow weary of listening to Dumpees obsess over their troubles: getting dumped is predictable, repetitive, and boring. They want to stay friends; they feel smothered; it's always them and it's never you; and afterward, you're devastated and their relieved; it's over for them and just starting for you.

Every year, many, many stupid people graduate from college. And if they can do it, so can you.

As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.

"And we'll call you... hmmm. Pudge." "Huh?" "Pudge," the Colonel said. "Because you're skinny. It's called irony, Pudge. Heard of it? Now, let's go get some cigarettes and start this year off right."

Some people have lives; some people have music.

We landed, in fact, parallel to a canal, like there were two runways: one for us and one for waterfowl.

[This] is very important to remember when reading or writing or talking or whatever: You are never, ever choosing whether to use symbols. You are choosing which symbols to use.