As a freelance writer, I'd be asked to become an expert for various magazines on any subject, whether food or wine or history or the life span of veterinarians. I was completely unschooled in any of these things.

Only the nerds will save the earth.

I still have a fondness for books. Many a time I will be antiquing, and I'll say, 'What's that old-timey curio over there? What is that, a candlestick telephone, one of those old pull-chain toilets? Oh no, it's a book. I used to help make those things! I will buy it and use it to decorate my chain of casual family-dining restaurants.

I would definitely make eggs for the rest of my life if I could.

When a good friend gives you his or her book, you don't want to read it, because you're afraid that it's not going be what you hope it can be.

The few people who ask to have their photographs with me, I almost always say yes, except for a few circumstances, like when my family is around.

This is something that the nimblest standup comedians learn, over time, to handle gracefully. They'll go between prepared material, then they'll respond to what's happening in the room and weave it back into the prepared material and so on.