Everyone feels like they would love to be a really cool bartender in a really cool bar, but you're still surrounded by people who want to destroy themselves with alcohol. When you look at it that way, it's not that much fun.
John HodgmanElwyn Brooks White was a very Maine personality which is, "I hate everyone and everyone stay away from me."
John HodgmanPeople who run for president seriously and people who become president enter a bizarre secret society in which they have had an experience that none of us will ever have.
John HodgmanI don't care if I tell that story and John Roderick gets up afterward and yells, 'I hope you enjoyed the white privilege, mortality comedy of John Hodgman!' That's me!" I'm going to play a sad Handsome Family song at the end and I guarantee you everyone is going to love it because, sometimes, you need a grown man or woman to tell you what you like.
John Hodgman