It's not a secret family like I have a beautiful, gorgeous wife in Tokyo; I have another mom and dad. I'm the kid and I have another mom and dad in Atwater Village, Los Angeles.

I've made my evolutionary purpose and had children. I don't care if anybody likes me, I'm going to do what I want to do. I'm going to do a whole comedy show about swimming in the loathsomely cold waters of Maine.

I used to enjoy the anonymity of being a literary figure and occasionally a public radio figure.

I would definitely make eggs for the rest of my life if I could.

As a freelance writer, I'd be asked to become an expert for various magazines on any subject, whether food or wine or history or the life span of veterinarians. I was completely unschooled in any of these things.

I don't wish to brag, but I'm very intelligent.

Everyone wants to write a book. Very few people are able to do it.