I think that by the time I start writing the third book, of course, I will be President Of The United States, and that also will have something to do with it. I'll probably have to acknowledge that somehow.

There is no ritual that enhances creativity other than just starting.

I've made my evolutionary purpose and had children. I don't care if anybody likes me, I'm going to do what I want to do. I'm going to do a whole comedy show about swimming in the loathsomely cold waters of Maine.

To want to become the President is, I think, such a bizarre ambition that it is automatically deranging.

I am not a villain.I'm an only-child narcissist monster, but I wish no ill, nor do I wish for world domination; what a hassle that would be!

I think for the foreseeable future, the truth is going to be awful and funny all at the same time.

John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvey Oswald meet in hell and team up to assassinate Satan.