One can always come up with funny lists and jokes. You know what? I take it back. Not everyone can always come up with funny lists and some jokes. I'm very lucky to have a gift where I can do that pretty ably.

Hosting a TV show is a full-time job in which success is defined by it never ending.

Elwyn Brooks White was a very Maine personality which is, "I hate everyone and everyone stay away from me."

Everyone wants to write a book. Very few people are able to do it.

I made an impulse buy of a house in Maine to make my wife happy and now have gone back into debt and it's all started over for me.

Even the worst job has its benefits and so does being a professional literary agent, and - I know I said this at the time but I still believe it - the worst job is the one that you know is wrong for you, but you still do it. You're afraid to quit.

I think that by the time I start writing the third book, of course, I will be President Of The United States, and that also will have something to do with it. I'll probably have to acknowledge that somehow.