Stop!' I cried imploringly to my god-like mind.

I should perhaps warn you that I am about to faint from anxiety and general depression, though. The film I saw last night was especially grueling, a teen-age beach musical. I almost collapsed during the singing sequence on surfboard.

I suspect that I am the result of particularly weak conception on the part of my father. His sperm was probably emitted in a rather offhand manner.

You could tell by the way he talked, though, that he had gone to school a long time. That was probably what was wrong with him.

My life is a rather grim one. One day I shall perhaps describe it to you in great detail.

Canned food is a perversion,' Ignatius said. 'I suspect that it is ultimately very damaging to the soul.

I avoid that bleak first hour of the working day during which my still sluggish senses and body make every chore a penance. I find that in arriving later, the work which I do perform is of a much higher quality.