I suspect that I am the result of particularly weak conception on the part of my father. His sperm was probably emitted in a rather offhand manner.

I avoid that bleak first hour of the working day during which my still sluggish senses and body make every chore a penance. I find that in arriving later, the work which I do perform is of a much higher quality.

Is my paranoia getting completely out of hand, or are you mongoloids really talking about me?

Oh, Fortuna, blind, heedless goddess, I am strapped to your wheel,' Ignatius belched, 'Do not crush me beneath your spokes. Raise me on high, divinity.

You could tell by the way he talked, though, that he had gone to school a long time. That was probably what was wrong with him.

Having once been so high, humanity fell so low. What had once been dedicated to the soul was now dedicated to the sale.

This liberal doxy must be impaled upon the member of a particularly large stallion.