My reputation is a media creation.

Michael Jackson plays the wounded puppy very well. 'I must be the loneliest man in the world'. Well, you're not a man. And the loneliness is self inflicted, so sod off you pathetic puerile pimp. I wonder what color his willy is.

If you have something to say then you want someone to pay attention or at least to have the opportunity for them to tell you to shut up and go away.

Being born into the Royal Family is like being born into a mental asylum. Marrying into it is not something to be taken lightly.

I have one major problem with the Internet: It's full of liars.

I wanted to wear the most impenetrable suit of armour ever known to mankind. 'Hello, Mr. Rotten...' You can't say anything about me. You can't put me down in any way shape or form - I'm rotten to the core... you know, what's left for you? Pleasantries? I suppose the worst insult you could sling my way is 'Oh, he's really nice, him.'

Some of us are born big-minded with small penises. Others have big penises and small-minded.