Waiting on the World to Change.

I like giving people something they don't want to miss the next time. It's a show with little twists and turns and curves. It has me being silly and stupid and compassionate and completely deep.

If you never stop when you wave goodbye you just might find, if you give it time, you will wave hello again.

My fear is that I go up to the girl of my dreams and say 'I'm sorry, but I've got to say hello to you,' and she slides the stool back and gets up and walks away, saying, 'Not for me, Bub. I don't want anything to do with you.'

Sometimes I get scared that I’m going to enter a web address into Twitter thinking it was my browser. That would be bad.

By the way, pornography? It's a new synaptic pathway. You wake up in the morning, open a thumbnail page, and it leads to a Pandora's box of visuals. There have probably been days when I saw 300 vaginas before I got out of bed.

I've never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, 'We're full.'