How come everything I need always comes with batteries?

My life's a sequel to a movie where the actors' names have changed.

The minute hand moves faster than you think it does.

Sometimes I get scared that I’m going to enter a web address into Twitter thinking it was my browser. That would be bad.

My hits are not hits.

Everybody enjoys arguing about the current state of music because it feels as if you are talking about something incredibly important, yet it requires little understanding of the subject matter at hand. It's like world politics meets the pink questions in Trivial Pursuit. Points are made but nothing gets accomplished.

You look so good it hurts sometimes.