Did you hear the one about the woman who is attacked on the street by a gorilla, beaten senseless, raped repeatedly, and left to die? When she finally regains consciousness and tries to speak, her doctor leans over to hear her sigh contently and to feebly ask, 'Where is that marvelous ape?'

We are Americans first, Americans last, Americans always... Let us argue our differences. But remember we are not enemies, but comrades in a war against a real enemy...

If money is free speech, the big interests are sitting in front with megaphones and the average citizens are sitting in the back.

Americans want to win; bin Laden thinks he's winning now.

I know what war's like. I know what scene's like.

At least I don’t plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt.

But I'm still a work in progress. My mother calls me quite frequently with various critiques of my performance on TV and other public events. She's usually pretty severe with her comments.