In every marriage the wife has to keep her mouth shut about at least one small thing her husband does that disgusts her.

But whats the use of being old if you cant be dumb?

So who's perfect? ... Washington had false teeth. Franklin was nearsighted. Mussolini had syphilis. Unpleasant things have been said about Walt Whitman and Oscar Wilde. Tchaikovsky had his problems, too. And Lincoln was constipated.

Illinois is a state of suspended animation and the people live in hibernation from Oct. to whenever it ever gets warmer.

They say great themes make great novels. but what these young writers don't understand is that there is no greater theme than men and women.

An artist is his own fault.

Much as I like owning a Rolls-Royce, I could do without it. What I could not do without is a typewriter, a supply of yellow second sheets and the time to put them to good use.