You never oughta drink water when it ain't runnin'.
The proofs that God does not exist are very strong, but in lots of people they are not as strong as the feeling that He does.
[He] fell right into the oldest conviction in the world-- that the girl you are in love with can't possibly be anything but true and honest.
The nicest thing in the world you can do for anybody is let them help you.
Give a critic an inch, he'll write a play.
Oh, the strawberries don't taste as they used to and the thighs of women have lost their clutch!