Only mediocrity escapes criticism.

I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts.

With a few exceptions people don't want money. They want luxury and they want love and they want admiration.

People need responsibility. They resist assuming it, but they cannot get along without it.

I have thought that men and women should never come together except in bed. There is the only place where their natural hatred of each other is not so apparent.

One of the laws of paleontology is that an animal which must protect itself with thick armour is degenerate. It is usually a sign that the species is on the road to extinction.

Many are the stories I have heard about myself. I have mistresses I have never met. When I hear that I am a sodomist and a zoophalist then I shall know that I have reached the high point of fame, but I suppose I can hardly expect such exaltation for many years.