I pride myself on the fact that my work has no socially redeeming value.

My hobby is extreme Catholic behavior - before the Reformation.

I think that's why I've lasted this long because I love everything I make fun of! I make fun of myself first! I mean, I started my career by calling my films "trash" - the local critics used to complain that I beat the critic to the typewriter.

I have no interest in ever making a movie I didn't write. If they were going to take my house away, then I guess I might have to. But my agent knows not to even bother sending me the scripts.

If your kid comes out of the bedroom and says he just shut down the government, it seems to me he should at least have an outfit for that.

I never rewatch the great films of my favorite directors because I'm afraid they won't hold up.

People vomitied at my movies; not because of the movie but because they were drunk. I took credit anyway.