Yeah, I know I should be fighting for gay rights, but who wants to join the army or get married anyway?

Even illegal weapons have lost their panache. Zip guns and shanks were at least homemade. Where is the craft in a grade-schooler firing a magnum? What is the world coming to? It's not even bad to be a communist anymore!

There are little things that get on my nerves, like people who have reading material in their powder room. When you go in someone’s house, and next to the toilet they have a huge basket of magazines, I find that repellent. I recommend against straining while reading.

The Easter Bunny is a major reason for heroin addiction in America.

I used to joke that I was trying to sell out, and nobody would buy me.

The anger I have about high school - which I do have because they discouraged every interest I ever had; actually I call it anti-education - that anger led to my career.

Wealth is walking into any bookshop and buying any book you want without looking at the price tag.