The "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" hitchhiker really made people never want to hitchhike again - the hitcher, the show. Hitchhiking is always vaguely sexual.

My hobby is extreme Catholic behavior - before the Reformation.

I'd love to sell out completely. It's just that nobody has been willing to buy.

I haven't changed - the public has. I'm an insider now, which is hilarious.

If you can make someone laugh who's dead set against you, that's the first step to winning them over to your side.

I've had it with being nice, understanding, fair and hopeful. I feel like being negative all day. The chip on my shoulder could sink the QE2. I've got an attitude problem and nobody better get in my way...I'm in a bad mood and the whole stupid little world is gonna pay!

"How could you think of such awful things?" liberal critics always ask. "How else could I possibly amuse myself?" I always wonder.