I promote my own self-hatred.

Even when I was living below the poverty line as a novelist, I was still living better than 99.5% of the human population of the world. But in my little, soft realm of trying to amuse a few dozen middle-class people with my books and articles, I did struggle to survive in my own way.

I didn't play or like a lot of board games as a child. I liked playing with my G.I. Joes and making up adventures for them.

It was one of those days when every time I went to go out the door, something grabbed me in the back of the brain and said, lie down and masturbate one more time.

Oh, God, I don't know what's more difficult, life or the English language.

As a child, I wanted to be an athlete, a professional tennis player or something like that.

I grew up in northern New Jersey - the banlieue of New York - and I now live in Brooklyn. I am separated from my parents by about 50 miles, but really there is almost no distance between us. I speak to them nearly every day.