Some people are like blue jeans- the older and more beat up they get, the better they look.

Reading a book, for me at least, is like traveling in someone else's world. If it's a good book, then you feel comfortable and yet anxious to see what's going to happen to you there, what'll be around the next corner. But if it's a lousy book, then it's like going through Secaucus, New Jersey -- it smells and you wish you weren't there, but since you've started the trip, you roll up the windows and breathe through your mouth until you're done.

I forgive nothing. If you stole my orange crayon in the fifth grade, you're still on my hit list, buddy.

There's almost always a point in a book where something happens that triggers the rest of the plot.

Although our emotions sometimes behave like spoiled, selfish children, unfortunately we cannot send them to their room or tell them to stop screaming.

Salzburg... is a mountain town with a rushing river running right through the center, everything in the rain various shades of green and brown.

Eating is sex for old people.