A college joke to cure the dumps.

Big-endians and small-endians.

There were many times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.

He that calls a man ungrateful sums up all the veil that a man can be guilty of.

Your notions of friendship are new to me; I believe every man is born with his quantum, and he cannot give to one without robbing another. I very well know to whom I would give the first place in my friendship, but they are not in the way, I am condemned to another scene, and therefore I distribute it in pennyworths to those about me, and who displease me least, and should do the same to my fellow prisoners if I were condemned to a jail.

Many a truth is told in jest.

There is no vice or folly that requires so much nicety and skill to manage as vanity; nor any which by ill management makes so contemptible a figure.