I know from the middle distance I give off the look of being prolific, which is a funny compliment to receive.

I was recently asked what it takes to become a writer. Three things, I answered: first, one must cultivate incompetence at almost every other form of profitable work. This must be accompanied, second, by a haughty contempt for all the forms of work that one has established one cannot do. To these two must be joined, third, the nuttiness to believe that other people can be made to care about your opinions and views and be charmed by the way you state them. Incompetence, contempt, lunacy—once you have these in place, you are set to go.

Not to like ice cream is to show oneself uninterested in food.

I am basically a complainer and all the grounds for complaint have been swept out from under me.

The best joke-tellers are those who have the patience to wait for conversation to come around to the point where the jokes in their repertoire have application.

I know from the middle distance I give off the look of being prolific, which is a funny compliment to receive.

Courage is nine-tenths context. What is courageous in one setting can be foolhardy in another and even cowardly in a third.