When you consider the opportunity and power He had to really do a job, and then look at the stupid, ugly little mess He made of it instead, His sheer incompetence is almost staggering.

All of our religions but the Judaic and the Greek think more of us dead than alive.

Under Colonel Korn's rule, the only people permitted to ask questions were those who never did.

He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.

"What would they do to me," he asked in confidential tones, "if I refused to fly them?" "We'd probably shoot you," ex-P.F.C. Wintergreen replied. "We?" Yossarian cried in surprise. "What do you mean, we? Since when are you on their side?" "If you're going to be shot, whose side do you expect me to be on?" ex-P.F.C. Wintergreen retorted.

The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.

When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.