I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.

When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as 'Catch-22' I'm tempted to reply, 'Who has?'

Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence?" "Yes, sir, it has." "Then why do you do it?" "To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.

"Surely so many countries can't all be worth dying for." "Anything worth living for," said Nately, "is worth dying for." "And anything worth dying for," answered the sacrilegious old man, "is certainly worth living for."

The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likable. In three days no one could stand him.

When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.

There are yawning gulfs into which large chunks of me have fallen. I do not always know where I am at present.