There's nothing as real as money.

[Writers are] the highest paid secretaries in the world.

All playwrights should be dead for three hundred years.

The difference between life and the movies is that a script has to make sense, and life doesn't.

And Kate Hepburn-God, she's beautiful, God, she plays golf well, God, she can get anyone in the world on the phone, God, she knows what to do all the time, God, she wears clothes well.

In my last two years in high school, my face was pocked with pimples, I stammered when I spoke; if I made a mistake, I blushed furiously, and when nervous, as I was in the company of girls, I perspired freely.

Please don't look at me as if you had a source of income other than your salary.