I probably have the worst wardrobe. It's the most ill-fitting with the worst patterns and colors and the most nipple rubbage. There's bad chafing, and it's always tight in all the wrong places. What's sad is that I'm kinda getting used to it.

I'm a genius. I'm like Prince.

I'm bored. I'm not unprofessional. I'm just bored.

To see your friend's dreams come true, there's really nothing that can make you happier.

Guys are just too fast and too big in the NFL.

It's just cool to me that Bon Jovi knows my name!

Who didnt grow up through the 90s watching Friends?