The thing with the comics is that you have license to go down every alley your brain can think of.

I mean, I knew I wasn't a nice person, but what did I do in my past life to deserve this? I must have hit a bus full of nuns while driving a stolen car on my way to selling drugs to schoolchildren!

I don't think I'm like Shakespeare.

We have things to say about Congress and all of that. I think we may have our magnum opus coming yet. It's a piece called "Leonard" that I'm very excited about, and I think we're going to see a side of Chris Pine that people haven't really seen yet. That's all I'm going to say, but I'm proud of it.

How did you find me here? If I was blind, I would see you. Stay with me. Forever. That's the whole point. I'll never leave. Not even if you kill me.

You give my regards to St. Peter, or whoever has his job, but in Hell.

Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck.