I've spent years studying words. Linguistics, language, the power of words, the power of phrases on human beings. All of that. It's part of my, almost obsessive, fascination. It turns out that there are some keys that we all need to know about how conversations impact us, because they do at a chemical level. There are certain things that if we learned this, it would totally change our interactions with others, and that's the following. There are certain words that have a feeling of, "I love you, I care for you, you're in my tribe."

I've spent years studying words. Linguistics, language, the power of words, the power of phrases on human beings. All of that. It's part of my, almost obsessive, fascination. It turns out that there are some keys that we all need to know about how conversations impact us, because they do at a chemical level. There are certain things that if we learned this, it would totally change our interactions with others, and that's the following. There are certain words that have a feeling of, "I love you, I care for you, you're in my tribe."

It's 100% important to have a dialog with yourself going all the time. That's an ego talking to you, beckoning you to do more, but it's not the voice that you need to have in order to solidify the trust relationship. You have to be really transparent with yourself and say, "What can I do now?" What can I really do and how do I bring that into the world. In other words, those self-talk, we have to constantly be auditing, is our voice inside our best friend? If it's not, you have to make it your best friend.

Every human being needs to know to be a great parent, for a teacher to be a great teacher, and for a business partner to be a great business partner. We can't fall back on, "Oh, I only said it once and it didn't matter." That kind of phrase. That's a not-good thing for a leader to hold inside. If what that leader did is do that separation and this person now knew that they were not going to be on the popular team, doing it once and then not doing it again isn't enough to erase what just happened.

Conversational intelligence is hard-wired into every single human-being's cells. It's the way the cells engage with each other. Believe it or not, cells talk to each other. The immune system talks to the cells.

Human beings really think about relativity. That's part of what the brain does.

It turns out that human beings are hard-wired to have conversations impact them in such profound and significant ways that it can actually turn genes on and off. That's a core, fascinating challenge for all of us and insight.