the obligation to express gratitude deepens with procrastination. The longer you wait, the more effusive must be the thanks.

There are three possible parts to a date, of which at least two must be offered: entertainment, food, and affection. It is customary to begin a series of dates with a great deal of entertainment, a moderate amount of food, and the merest suggestion of affection. As the amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately. When the affection IS the entertainment, we no longer call it dating. Under no circumstances can the food be omitted.

If you put together all the ingredients that naturally attract children - sex, violence, revenge, spectacle and vigorous noise - what you have is grand opera.

Only a person who considers himself too good for you is good enough.

When you consider how epidemic boredom is in our time, you have to concede that entertaining is a healing art.

There are three social classes in America: upper middle class, middle class, and lower middle class.

For email, the old postcard rule applies. Nobody else is supposed to read your postcards, but you'd be a fool if you wrote anything private on one.