But it's hard to be hip over thirty when everyone else is nineteen, when the last dance we learned was the Lindy, and the last we heard, girls who looked like Barbara Streisand were trying to do something about it.

When he is late for dinner and I know he must be either having an affair or lying dead in the street, I always hope he's dead.

Adolescence involves our nutty-desperate-ecstatic-rash psychological efforts to come to terms with new bodies and outrageous urges.

Absence makes the heart grow frozen, not fonder.

I don't intend to stop showing a little cleavage. Nor do I intend to stop flashing a little thigh.

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned.

I think I'll move to Australia.