Our early lessons in love and our developmental history shape the expectations we bring into marriage.

Love is the same as like except you feel sexier.

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned.

Late birds get worms while early birds get tired.

we love as soon as we learn to distinguish a separate 'you' and 'me.' Love is our attempt to assuage the terror and isolation of that separateness.

We begin life with loss. We are cast from the womb without an apartment, a charge plate, a job or a car. We are sucking, sobbing, clinging, helpless babies.

It is true that the present is powerfully shaped by the past. But it is also true that ... insight at any age keeps us from singing the same sad songs again.