[On daughter Liza Minnelli] I think she decided to go into show business when she was an embryo, she kicked so much.

I try to bring the audience's own drama - tears and laughter they know about - to them.

Velveeta: you can eat it - or wax your car with it!

Audiences have kept me alive.

If I am a legend, then why am I so lonely?

If I'm such a legend, then why am I so lonely? Let me tell you, legends are all very well if you've got somebody around who loves you.

I've seen the ticket, and I still can't believe it. When I see the money, I hope I don't hit the floor.