I can live without money, but I cannot live without love.

If I'm such a legend, then why am I so lonely? If I'm such a legend, then why do I sit at home for hours staring at the damned telephone, hoping it's out of order, even calling the operator asking her if she's sure it's not out of order?

Velveeta: you can eat it - or wax your car with it!

There have been times when I have deliberately tried to take my life... I think I must have been crying for some attention.

You are never so alone as when you are ill on stage. The most nightmarish feeling in the world is suddenly to feel like throwing up in front of four thousand people.

Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.

I try to bring the audience's own drama - tears and laughter they know about - to them.