I'm not a standup. I don't really have jokes. I don't have 10 minutes. It took a while for me to realize this.

To a certain extent I am taking a leap of faith. I'm adding up the evidence on either side, and I'm seeing the evidence of there not being a God is overwhelming compared to the evidence for there being a God.

Our family was too strange and weird for even Santa Claus to come visit ... Santa, who was jolly - but, let's face it, he was also very judgmental.

I'm not a standup. I don't really have jokes. I don't have 10 minutes. It took a while for me to realize this.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not ashamed of my body, I just don't see any reason to not cover it up as much as possible. ... I'm someone who considered becoming a nun, for the outfit.

Because death and illness are the most horrible things in life, of course that's where the most absurdly funny things are going to happen.

[Penn Jillette] said, 'If a truck is barreling toward you, no amount of positiveness will stop it from hitting you.' I needed to hear that I didn't have to be enthusiastic all the time. Some days you just need to be in a bad mood.