I get mad at people who talk about traumatic job interviews, about going on one and getting rejected. I get rejected all the time and not only do I get rejected, but people have no problem being really specific about why I was rejected.

Because death and illness are the most horrible things in life, of course that's where the most absurdly funny things are going to happen.

It was a fine cancer experience, as cancer experiences go.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not ashamed of my body, I just don't see any reason to not cover it up as much as possible. ... I'm someone who considered becoming a nun, for the outfit.

sometimes it's in your limitations that you find your greatest strengths.

If I look over my life, every single step of maturing for me, every single one, has had the exact same common denominator: accepting what was true over what I wished were true.

[Penn Jillette] said, 'If a truck is barreling toward you, no amount of positiveness will stop it from hitting you.' I needed to hear that I didn't have to be enthusiastic all the time. Some days you just need to be in a bad mood.