The imagination doesn't crop annually like a reliable fruit tree. The writer has to gather whatever's there: sometimes too much, sometimes too little, sometimes nothing at all. And in the years of glut there is always a slatted wooden tray in some cool, dark attic, which the writer nervously visits from time to time; and yes, oh dear, while he's been hard at work downstairs, up in the attic there are puckering skins, warning spots, a sudden brown collapse and the sprouting of snowflakes. What can he do about it?
Julian BarnesBut Iโve been turning over in my mind the question of nostalgia, and whether I suffer from it. I certainly donโt get soggy at the memory of some childhood knickknack; nor do I want to deceive myself sentimentally about something that wasnโt even true at the timeโlove of the old school, and so on. But if nostalgia means the powerful recollection of strong emotionsโand a regret that such feelings are no longer present in our livesโthen I plead guilty.
Julian BarnesAnd no, it wasn't shame I now felt, or guilt, but something rarer in my life and stronger than both: remorse. A feeling which is more complicated, curdled, and primeval. Whose chief characteristic is that nothing can be done about it: too much time has passed, too much damage has been done, for amends to be made.
Julian BarnesYou would think, wouldnโt you, that if you were the child of a happy marriage, then you ought to have a better than average marriage yourself โ either through some genetic inheritance or because youโd learnt from example? But it doesnโt seem to work like that. So perhaps you need the opposite example โ to see mistakes in order not to make them yourself. Except this would mean that the best way for parents to ensure their children have happy marriages would be to have unhappy ones themselves. So whatโs the answer?
Julian Barnes