But she never just accepted me for the way I was.

She responds by kissing me harder and longer and deeper. She loves me too. She's just afraid.

What I know is you can't go back. You can't press delete and re-key your life.

What will I become? Because I won't be me any longer. That will be a relief. I dont want to be the helpless person I've always been.

What was I afraid of, exactly? What other people would think? I guess, a little. But that wasn't what was stopping me from acting on my feelings. It was the intensity of them. The desire for her. I knew if I gave into it, I'd have to surrender myself completely. I'd lose all control. Everything I knew, everything I was, the walls I'd built up to protect myself all these years would come crashing down. I might get lost in the rubble. Yet, she made me feel alive in a way I'd only ever imagined I could feel. Bells, whistles, music.

What's the point of living if you don't belong anywhere?

This is my vision-what I imagine I'll pass through on my way to the light. The blue sky, the clouds, the rays of light.