It must be said that Brighton, unlike London, makes driving seem very appealing. Instead of glowering faces and angry horns on all sides, we have the coast road in front of us and the Sussex Downs just 10 minutes behind us.

I just have a real problem with people who seek to portray fatness or thinness as moral concepts.

Grooming oneself with all the crazed compulsion of an under-exercised lab rat in order to hook a rich man and obtain a lush lifestyle makes a certain (albeit seedy) sense.

What sort of sap doesn't know by now that picture-perfect beauty is all done with smoke and mirrors anyway?

As a precocious teen I dreamed of being Graham Greene. Well, as it turned out, I never wrote a great novel, sadly, and I never converted to Catholicism, happily, but I did do one thing he did. That is, in middle age I moved to a seaside town and got into a right barney with the local powers-that-be.

Presley sounded like Jayne Mansfield looked - blowsy and loud and low.

Show me a frigid woman and, nine times out of ten, I'll show you a little man.