What men don't want, in fact what anyone who's any sort of thrill-seeking, intelligent adult doesn't want, is some crushing bore describing their emotions in real time every waking hour.

I won't be going to any New Year's Eve parties because I think they're naff. No one over the age of 15 should bother going to parties.

Only those who haven't got the wit to speak for themselves would ever want their clothes to do it for them.

These women whose antics we smirk at good-naturedly in the pap-traps put themselves out there at least partly on their beauty; they are in showbiz, and showing what they've got is part of their business as much as it is for male show-ponies from the Chippendales to George Clooney.

I have always voted Labour and I always will. I have got to have one stupid, bovine part of me and that's the part that votes Labour.

I'll declare my own interest right here at the start and admit that, like the vast majority of people, I find youthful looks appealing.

If you want sex, have an affair. If you want a relationship, buy a dog.