What men don't want, in fact what anyone who's any sort of thrill-seeking, intelligent adult doesn't want, is some crushing bore describing their emotions in real time every waking hour.

Being a child is horrible. It is slightly better than being a tree or a piece of heavy machinery but not half as good as being a domestic cat.

Transsexualism is, basically, just another, more drastic twist on the male menopause.

Presley sounded like Jayne Mansfield looked - blowsy and loud and low.

When did women whose looks are not their living start conducting themselves like the simpering inmates of an Ottoman empire seraglio?

Being a monarchist - saying that one small group is born more worthy of respect than another - is just as warped and strange as being a racist.

Contrasting British servicemen and women with the appeasers, it is hard not to laugh. Are these two sides even the same species, let alone the same nationality? On one hand the selflessness and internationalism of the soldiers; on the other the Whites-First isolationism of the protesters. Excuse me, who are the idealists here?