People - and I include myself - get fat because they choose pleasure over self-denial.

One Christmas build-up tradition, however, has totally bypassed me - that of going up to town and doing a show.

Sadly, a lot of what passes for feminism these days is just moaning about men, congratulating ourselves on nothing in particular, and mocking them for being big kids while doing everything we can to keep them that way.

What sort of sap doesn't know by now that picture-perfect beauty is all done with smoke and mirrors anyway?

Presley sounded like Jayne Mansfield looked - blowsy and loud and low.

The Feminist Me says that a woman's right to her own body should be inviolate at all times, free from fear of peeping paps.

Graham Greene famously said that all writers need a chip of ice in their heart; Cusk can come across as the most beautiful ice palace of stalactites and stalagmites, and some people find her company, albeit by proxy, about as inviting as a long weekend in a walk-in frigidaire.