Gluttony and idleness are two of life's great joys, but they are not honourable.

It's received wisdom that the English are uniquely child-unfriendly.

Whenever I am sent a new book on the lively arts, the first thing I do is look for myself in the index.

Intersectionality may well sound like some unfortunate bowel complaint resulting in copious use of a colostomy bag, and indeed it does contain a large amount of ordure.

Being a monarchist - saying that one small group is born more worthy of respect than another - is just as warped and strange as being a racist.

I feel even less patience with transsexuals.

May I just single out for salutations, on the "anti-war" side: Pop Stars For Appeasement, Dancers Against Democracy, Actors For Apathy, Fashionistas For Fascism and Jugglers For Genocide. All of them united under that flaccid flag of convenience, Show-Offs For Saddam.