I've never been nostalgic, personally or politically - if the past was so great, how come it's history?

But just think what a boring, bread-and-milk world this would be without the boastful.

Gluttony and idleness are two of life's great joys, but they are not honourable.

It's very hard to imagine the phrase "consumer society" used so cheerfully, and interpreted so enthusiastically, in England.

A wedding is a funeral which masquerades as a feast. And the greater the pageantry, the deeper the savagery.

In Barcelona, things seem so different. For example, I know that it's traditionally the least Spanish city, but you'd never know they had a monarchy, coming here as a tourist - as opposed to the UK, where the Queen is probably the best-known animal, vegetable and/or mineral going when it comes to overseas visitors.

I jest, of course; premature ejaculation isn't a laughing matter for anyone, except for your friends when you tell them about it on the phone the next morning. My first marriage ended because the main event was invariably over before my husband got his socks off.