Now the whole dizzying and delirious range of sexual possibilities has been boiled down to that one big, boring, bulimic word. RELATIONSHIP.

What sort of sap doesn't know by now that picture-perfect beauty is all done with smoke and mirrors anyway?

Being a monarchist, and fawning over those 'above' you, you must naturally despise those 'below' or on the same socioeconomic level as yourself, because that is how hierarchy worship works.

Transsexualism is, basically, just another, more drastic twist on the male menopause.

It may be a cliché, but it's true - the build-up to Christmas is so much more pleasurable than the actual day itself.

A good part - and definitely the most fun part - of being a feminist is about frightening men.

Sadly, a lot of what passes for feminism these days is just moaning about men, congratulating ourselves on nothing in particular, and mocking them for being big kids while doing everything we can to keep them that way.