Families, generally, suck. And I say that as someone who, like my husband, had parents who proved the proverbial exception to the rule.

Some say that Cusk has no sense of humour, but expecting giggles from this writer would be akin to expecting sonnets from Benny Hill.

I jest, of course; premature ejaculation isn't a laughing matter for anyone, except for your friends when you tell them about it on the phone the next morning. My first marriage ended because the main event was invariably over before my husband got his socks off.

A good part - and definitely the most fun part - of being a feminist is about frightening men.

One Christmas build-up tradition, however, has totally bypassed me - that of going up to town and doing a show.

These women whose antics we smirk at good-naturedly in the pap-traps put themselves out there at least partly on their beauty; they are in showbiz, and showing what they've got is part of their business as much as it is for male show-ponies from the Chippendales to George Clooney.

Being a monarchist - saying that one small group is born more worthy of respect than another - is just as warped and strange as being a racist.