Being a child is horrible. It is slightly better than being a tree or a piece of heavy machinery but not half as good as being a domestic cat.

Transsexualism is, basically, just another, more drastic twist on the male menopause.

Feminism seeks to turn the biggest, bloodiest carnivore in the world - passion - into a right-on cud-chewing vegan. It can never work. Sex was never meant to be that way. Sex, on the whole, was meant to be short, nasty and brutish. If what you want is cuddling, you should buy a puppy.

I know that Brighton is famously a mixture of the seedy and the elegant, but in the summer of 2001 seediness swamped elegance hands down.

I feel even less patience with transsexuals.

The Feminist Me says that a woman's right to her own body should be inviolate at all times, free from fear of peeping paps.

Women, more often than not, do things which aren't remotely relaxing but are all about preening, which is just another sort of work.