It has been said that a pretty face is a passport. But it's not, it's a visa, and it runs out fast.

It's received wisdom that the English are uniquely child-unfriendly.

Being a monarchist - saying that one small group is born more worthy of respect than another - is just as warped and strange as being a racist.

It seems that one moment I was this little kid only caring about animals and flowers and stuff, and then the next minute I was this raging stew of hormones. I don't know if you've ever been a raging stew of anything, but I wouldn't particularly recommend it.

The terrorist attacks were a tragedy for the people who died or were injured, and for their families and friends. For the rest of us, they were a wake-up call as to what type of lunatics we are dealing with. And sleepwalking our way back into ill-sorted, dewy-eyed people personal politics is the last thing we need to set us up for the fight ahead. Come on you liberals, don't give me the morbid pleasure of saying, 'I told you so' again.

Women, more often than not, do things which aren't remotely relaxing but are all about preening, which is just another sort of work.

Nicole Kidman in particular seems to bring out the butt-kisser in the sassiest of hackettes, as they ceaselessly strive to portray her as some sort of cross between Mother Teresa and Marilyn Monroe.