It has been said that a pretty face is a passport. But it's not, it's a visa, and it runs out fast.

Presley sounded like Jayne Mansfield looked - blowsy and loud and low.

Only those who haven't got the wit to speak for themselves would ever want their clothes to do it for them.

Women, more often than not, do things which aren't remotely relaxing but are all about preening, which is just another sort of work.

As with most liberal sexual ideas, what makes the world a better place for men invariably makes it a duller and more dangerous place for women.

I know that Brighton is famously a mixture of the seedy and the elegant, but in the summer of 2001 seediness swamped elegance hands down.

I jest, of course; premature ejaculation isn't a laughing matter for anyone, except for your friends when you tell them about it on the phone the next morning. My first marriage ended because the main event was invariably over before my husband got his socks off.