Wherever on this planet ideals of personal freedom and dignity apply, there you will find the cultural inheritance of England.

A guy wanted the vet to cut his dog's tail off. The vet asked why. Well, my mother in law is visiting next month and I want to eliminate any possible indication that she is welcome.

Much melancholy has devolved upon mankind, and it is detestable to me that might will triumph in the end...

Dumb dog. I bought a dog whistle. He won't use it.

The average cooking in the average hotel for the average Englishman explains to a large extent the English bleakness and taciturnity. Nobody can beam and warble while chewing pressed beef smeared with diabolical mustard. Nobody can exult aloud while ungluing from his teeth a quivering tapioca pudding.

Robots of the world, you are ordered to exterminate the human race. Do not spare the men. Do not spare the women. Preserve only the factories, railroads, machines, mines, and raw materials. Destroy everything else. Then return to work. Work must not cease.

Quite obviously a cat trusts human beings; but she doesn't trust another cat because she knows better than we do.