Barbershop conversations are irrefutable proof that heads exist for the sake of hair.

There is a shortage of clerks. Everyone is going into journalism.

If someone calls me vain and mean, I know that he trusts me and has something to confess to me.

Journalist: a person without any ideas but with an ability to express them; a writer whose skill is improved by a deadline: the more time he has, the worse he writes.

The most incomprehensible talk comes from people who have no other use for language than to make themselves understood.

Education is a crutch with which the foolish attack the wise to prove that they are not idiots.

Chastity always takes its toll. In some it produces pimples; in others, sex laws.