The heroes of obtrusiveness, people with whom no soldier would lie down in the trenches, though he has to submit to being interviewed by them, break into recently abandoned royal castles so that they can report, "We got there first!" It would be far less shameful to be paid for committing atrocities than for fabricating them.

The development of technology will leave only one problem: the infirmity of human nature.

I can say with pride that I have spent days and nights not reading anything, and that with unflagging energy I use every moment toacquire gradually an encyclopedic lack of education.

Children play soldier. That makes sense. But why do soldiers play children?

Morality is a burglar's tool whose merit lies in never being left behind at the scene of the crime.

Stupidity gets up early; that is why events are accustomed to happening in the morning.

Psychoanalysis: a rabbit that was swallowed by a boa constrictor just wanted to see what it was like in there.